Not down with the sickness

Have you ever wished so badly for something to end but it just won’t? It isn’t that it is anything harmful, but just plain annoying like Chinese water torture. Well, I am going through this right now. And I have been trying everything to drown out the annoyance but it is prevailing. Don’t worry I won’t be talking in riddles much longer, I am sure I have already lost some of whole 3 readers at this point.

I am still be haunted by my dreams; that is all this is about. It isn’t the same dream over and over, but new ones. They range from work, to money, relationships, friendships, my physical self, and my emotional self. Seriously, my last three weeks have been torturous to sleep. All the dreams, at this point I want to classify them as nightmares, seem to focus on all of the insecurities I have. I just don’t understand it. I have been working very hard on emotionally strengthening myself lately and also keeping a positive energy. These experiences have made it so I don’t sleep.

Besides being lack of sleep because of not wanting to go to sleep and when I do it is a restless sleep and being overworked. I have actually made myself physically sick this week. It oh so rare for me to get sick, and it is even rarer for me to leave work early because of being sick. I knew my body was starting to tell me I needed to slow down. This “weekend” was going to be my first full weekend in roughly 2 months time and now I am sick!

I’m just plan sick and just want this misery to end. I just don’t know what else to try. I have tried writing it out to get it out but it didn’t help. I have discussed it with friends, but that too hasn’t helped me get where I mentally and emotionally need to be. I am open to any suggestions at this point.

PS the reason I know they everything I have done hasn’t worked is because I had another vivid dream last night.