Like a certain Train, I think I can, I think I can

So one of the things I feel that I need to do is actually write some upbeat blogs especially to start the New Year off. I have a tendency to just write about the shitty events or flip the events to the small minuscule shitty parts.

Now right now I don’t have to much positive to say, my arm and shoulder hurt from too much time sitting on my laptop in a la-z-boy which doesn’t lend itself to good ergo dynamics. My bad. But I do have things to be stoked about for NYE2K7 and in Double 0 7.

007 Brings Me:
§ Tony home on leave in Seattle a week b/f he returns to Iraq

§ Finally getting to the Piano Bar. I know it will happen I have faith.

§ Concentrating on landing that job, my mojo faded for a while and with
the holiday blahs- but I am back with full force.

§ I would love to insert working my ass off to work my ass off but
since my body generally rejects working out to do that. I will say
working my ass off to be healthier.

§ My best friend will finally be 21 (I know I have some major
fluctuations in ages of my friends) but trust me she is wise beyond her
years.

§ With that, there has been discussion of going to Vegas. I have never
been and really want to.

§ Hopefully more exploration of the Puget Sound area both above ground
and in the water itself. 5 years here and I still feel lost in
Seattle. I also love the aquatics around here ( I did study them after
all)

Aight kids I have a list to work on and get some more yummies made for tonight.

Oh yeah, something else to add. Finding a love interest who actually reciprocates the same feeling, I am tired of the one way street!

“When we live with an attitude that looks back over our lives with regrets and “if only’s” we rob ourselves of hope. We rob ourselves of the joy of God’s grace. “God has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hop that he will continue to deliver us.” 2 Corinthians 1:10”

Tis the season

What do you say when you get a gift so lavish, unexpected, or just plain exactly what you needed or wanted? When it feels like saying thank you a million plus times won’t cut it? When you sit in awe and tears fill your eyes?

Well this happened to me this week. I sat in my truck and balled, yes I cried, amazing huh? I have said thank you multiple times and would say it a million plus if needed. I even told this person I couldn’t accept it. But got, “Penny you need this, you will take it.” I now said person (we will call him John Doe) will read this blog and I will probably be reprimanded for doing so…. Naw… jk…

But still it makes me think back to all the perfectly timed gifts in my life and the givers. Mr. Doe has said he wasn’t putting a “price” on friendship, but to me it was an eye opener. I never felt that he had that much invested in this friendship. I don’t mean that in a negative way at all. I just never thought of myself that valued. Especially since I feel like I have been a complete waste of space for the past month. How sad do I feel now, it takes a much needed gift to put me back into the loop of, my friends do care. Wow as I write this now I get the strong feeling that all my antics lately looked like a big ploy or con, yet I was just venting feelings.

I do know that Mr. Doe wasn’t feeding into these feelings and he was being a true genuine friend. Other friends as of late have steered me in the right path as well and I want to thank them. Be it from recommending a DVD on metaphysical healing, to words of encouragement, words of God, or getting me out of the house and rut daily routine. Thank you! Each and every one of you.

I think I am coming around again, good old Penny, ready to start the new year with a list of resolutions, hopefully not broken in the first few days, but I have a good support system to keep me on track.

Once again thank you everyone especially Mr. John Doe. I can never ever show enough thanks. Someday I will get you back when you need/want something. And for those of you who think msg me to get who Doe is and the gift… don’t even think about it. If he wants to let you all know he is more than welcome too.

“Which of you fathers, if your son asked for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” Luke 11:11-13

and the punch line is....

A writer, a federal agent, a runner, 5 comp sci guys, and a zoologist sit around a table... Does anyone hear a good or bad joke. No, I hear a table of interesting poker talk. Especially as wacky as this group is. Hell put a little alcohol in us and we get down right silly. Aww Christmas what else is it besides being thousands of miles from your family and being with the ones you truly love, your friends.

Rather enjoyable, I made attempt to win back the money I lost the other night at poker, but once again it wasn't in the cards for me. It must be the fact that we had 4 different decks circling the table, everyone using the decks they had received for Christmas, including mine- a marine life deck with a different pic on each of the cards (of course the numeric side not the back). It was fun to look at the exciting animals, but then sometimes I would forget about the poker aspect. After poker we made a mad dash from West Seattle to Bellevue to make it to a movie. We did make it on time, but as everyone leaves their house for one of the only gathering places open on Christmas, the show was sold out. Well what next?? We all headed up the road to Kirkland to chill at our other friends house. Watching them open their Christmas presents, as much as they felt bad about it, but I enjoy watching people open gifts! One gift was Pictionary.. ohh challenge for the gaming world. Loads of fun.. Richelle has talked a bit about it in her blog.

Another topic of interest that night was the Burger King xbox games.. Which I was on the search to find tomorrow. The only place on the east side area from what I am told that still has Sneak King. My own Burger king in North Bend. So I was told yesterday I was making a run for the game. Which I did, got one for the Ott Clan and one for my brother. We will see, watching the game play online was pretty hilarious.

Not much else to say at the moment. I was hoping I would have oodles and oodles, but not so much.

0-six in retro

Album of the Year: Roger Creager.. a comp album from a great new friend from WRR :) TY Hayley

Best Read: Succubus Blues by Richelle Mead. You really should get it when it comes out until February

Most Existential Experience: watching an animal overcoming hardships and being released.

Most Difficult Experience: 6 months at WRR.. lack of communication, lack of social environment, being so far away from family and friends

Most Emotional Moment: Strange, 2 seperate. booking my flight home from Hawaii, realizing that I couldn't live in paradise at the moment and the other REALLY strange, but getting into my car and driving up 281 leaving WRR, a dreaded where is my life going next.

Biggest Lowpoint: awww both times I came back to North Bend, horrified by not knowing where I will be going next and having to believe the man upstairs has some grand plan

Proudest Moment: Another strange event.... getting complimented on my work by Angela and Lynn

Most Redemptive Moment: being able to walk down the 4th st steps in Austin w/o falling down. Yeah I know it is small but that is about as good as it got for me this year

Most Blissful Experience: sitting on the back of a golf cart in the pitch black of nowhere Texas, watching the stars and listening to lions roaring, coyotes and wolves howling

Most Humbling Moment: hand feeding a head trama screech owl every hour to have him die in your hands. Life is small and precious. This could be said when any of "my" animals dies. The pygmy goat, Jacob's sheep, the parvo coons, the bobkittens, the fox, the barbado lamb.

Most Awaited Moment: landing that job
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other worthwhile things to add to this blog. Played poker tonight, didn't do so hot. I kinda had that feeling going in, that it wasn't going to be my night, but you still have to try. After poker we got wrapped up in some wacky hands of Uno... on that lasted an hour and had to break out a second deck of cards b/c of how many cards people where holding. Craziness. Hopefully soon I will have something more with more content to post. It has been slow for me. With the crazy weather and the 113.5 hours without power I had to resort to other things to keep me busy. I have completed another set of holiday painting plasters. and then have also done 2 detailed 8x10 dolphin paintings. Not really in the holiday mood, with only half of the decorations ever put up.

The job search is still looming, working on applications as I can. Postings have slowed down abit b/c of the holidays but that doesn't keep me from trying and continuing to look. Hopefully something soon, that is all I really want for christmas. :)

awww.... WhAtEvA

I really want to quit dogging on the weather, but it is seriously starting to piss me off. This Monsoon type rains and wind is just flat out annoying for many reason. The first and most important is it screwed up my plans on going out tonight. As I was just getting ready to get on interstate my friend called me and said abort mission, Seattle is flooded, water over the roadways, major roads closed, and even though I have a truck that will part the seas, we did not want to look like drowned rats when we entered the venue we were planned to attend. :(

Other things that make this weather get me down:

° Power flickers, outages, and brownouts
° My brother deciding that the weather is a good reason to stay home and play WoW all day
° The inability to want to go outside and put up the christmas lights
° Wanting to just curl up, watch tv, drink hot drinks, and eat cookies (yeah sounds okay, and
then you think about your waistline or your thighs)
° The cold reaking havic on my skin/hair.

Okay I will let you get back to actual life instead of me being angry!!