St. Val en Tine

Dear Advertising Agencies,

I know I may be placing the blame in the wrong place, but why do you feel it necessary to take on the “valentine” ads which you are asked to creatively do? Just say no, the only except would be for Hallmark, since after all Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday. So, please, quit trying to make it a national holiday. I have a few reasons for you.

First, it makes people who are single feel even more single, with either thoughts of offing themselves, consuming an entire carton of ice cream, yeah just another way to stay single is add that lactose fat to your ass, or the less harmful moping around feeling sorry for themselves. But then you have the other end of the spectrum of the happy couples who now feel obligated that they have to celebrate their love on this particular day, and if they don’t... God forbid, it ends in a horrible night of crying, doors being slammed and locked, and said “unloving” partner spending the night on the couch or dog house.

No I know that you are thinking, boy this girl is bitter, bitter single, but that isn’t it at all. I was having a discussion with a married friend. And she pointed out the militant necessity of “proof of love” on that day in particular. The appreciative of your significant other should happen every day, and surprise gifts of the heart. It got me thinking… You really get screwed over in a couple setting. Of course you “have” to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Plus you have anniversaries, and depending on how psycho your loved one is, they may want to celebrate many different anniversaries that you share. Ugh!! That is enough to make me sick.

So please, next time Rembrandt teeth whiter asks you to do a kissing commercial for them for Valentine’s Day, or Zales or any number of the who knows how many different diamond company ask you, please for the sake of all people, single or taken, unless you plan on sending me a diamond every time the commercial airs. Just say no. Save us the brunt of a Hallmark holiday.

Cordially yours,

Icy