Because the devil said so

1. Which of these two things do you find more revolting and why?
a. ear sex.. like Lois says.. it's just wrong
b. you know the stuff that settles in the bottom of a recycle bin.. the ewwy gooey
sticky pop and beer mess.. and then it starts to get moldy.. so it smells like sugary
nasty beer.. /urp

2. Do you know who invented the martini glass? And if so, were they, in fact, sociopathic?
I don't know who invented to martini glass, I just know if it falls over it breaks, and they are sexy! Now on the soiciopathic bit..according to this I too is considered sociopathic.. now are you hear as a friend or b/c I have brainwashed you into thinking your my friend.

3. Did question 2 cause you to look at Wikipedia ? If not, are you content to never know who invented the martini glass?
Wikipedia... sorry, I don't use that.. b/c I believe everything I read on the Internet that may lead me down a whole new path.... and as for who invented it.. sociopath.. I don't do play well with other sociopaths.

4. Do you believe that the ability to take standardized tests is an accurate measure of intelligence and education? If so, do you dare to deny you scored above 1200 on your SAT's?
Well, kiddies.. I don't do well at standardizing test, and I must admit I never took the SAT's. that's right, I didn't take them. Yet I did go to college. I will tell you that I scored a 26 on my ACT though, and at that time 32 was the highest you could score.. Yet, I did say I don't do well. We won't talk about my GRE that one was HORRID.

5. If you could live in the body of a person of the opposite sex for one day, what is
the first NON-SEXUAL thing you would do? What would the person ideally look like? Why?
I would pee... give me a handy dandy picnic attachment. I would pee, I would go find
snow and write my name in the snow. Ideally I would look like Jason Statham.. after all they didn't say you couldn't do anything sexual ;)

6. What is one obnoxious habit about your mother or father that you accept b/c you
either love them or have to b/c they're your parents?
the long pauses in speaking.. I put up with it even though sometimes it makes me snippy. Spit it out already, what are you trying to say!!!

7. Do you talk to yourself when you are alone? What do you say?
Haha.. I talk to myself when I am not alone... and guess what I answer myself as well. I say all kinda of smit

8. Do you tend to be the initiator or the initiated in your sex life?
What sex life?? I think that was one life drained out of me by my ex... (not that the
drive isn't still there)

9. Of the following skills which would you like to learn this year?
a. caring for marine mammals (pls let me get the rehab job)
b. maybe my sex life back, everyone could use more skills
c. to be able to be invisible

10. If you are male, do you often have the urge to spit while you pee?
n/a

11. If you are female, out of the last 10 times you squatted to pee, how many times did you successfully avoid your shoes and edge of your jeans?
I have avoided every single time... aww this makes me remember days at WRR, being out in the fields and filling water tubs and the urge to pee over takes you. Hell I watch the fawns do it, hell they pee on their knees and rub it together--ewww, so why can't I.

12. Did you know Rupert Murdoch owns MySpace? If this is news to you, are you now
considering deleting your account?
Okay, I may sound a bit naive, who is Rupert Murdoch, and what did he ever do to me.
Acct deletion..never!!!

13. If you went to the zoo tomorrow, what cage would you spend the most time staring at?
I live in a zoo, no need to go there.. besides we don't have a human exhibit like
Australia does.

14. Do you think that the website www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com is politically incorrect? If so, what should be done about it?
OMG.. I believe everything I see... awwww.. he has been reincarnated as several cats.. send them to the incinerator.. okay not really I couldn't ever kill a kitty.
Politically incorrect, come one someone out there has a grilled cheese sandwich with
"the vision of Virgin Mary" on it.. People are just strange

15. What body part do you wash first in the shower?
Head to toes baby, I start with my shoulders and arm pits

16. If you went to a museum tomorrow, what exhibit would you spend the most time at?
What per say is a museum?? Been years, and there are so many kinds of museums now..
which reminds me, I would like to go to the Pacific Science Center, anyone want to take me as their date (after all I don't have much money to spend, you would have to treat ;P) The science exhibits.. i think I just answered that.

17. Do you spend more money on your career than you make off of it?
Right now I would say b/c I AM NOT MAKING ANY MONEY AT IT

18. Which is funnier, a dog with a pyramid toy stuck on its head, or a cat that jumps 9 feet in the air when you jump out and scare it?
how about a cat with a plastic water glass stuck on his/her head jumping 9 feet in the air.. (the best part I have seen this, and I rofl for about 10 minutes and crying)

19. Have you ever walked out of a movie b/c the dialogue was so bad? If so, was it
"Blood Diamond"? If not, was it "Deck the Halls"? If not, what was it?
haha.. dude. I refuse to see blood diamond b/c of the bad dialogue from the commercials alone. Never walked out of a movie, I make better choices than that.. Though the fun times of Legally Blonde 2 had me ready to.

20. If you had unlimited resources and time, is there a place in the world you would not want to visit? Why?
ugh.. just see my other survey posted before this, b/c I have many places and it is b/c of either the place or the animals in the place.

21. When you stub your toe, is your immediate response to kick the object you stubbed it on? If not what is your immediate response?
why would I do that, I would just end up stubbing another toe?? I basically cuss as much as my breath will allow

22. Describe your reaction to eating a rotten tomatoe.
I don't eat tomatoes, period.

23. Do you have a Trader Joe's where you live? If not do you mourn that loss every day of your life?
I do have a Trader Joe's, but guess what I wouldn't mourn the loss b/c I have never been in my local stores.

24. Do you think men make more money in the workplace than women?
not the way I shake my booty.

25. Do you prefer salty food or sweet food?
ugh.. salt bad.. pepper good, sweet good.

26. Do you believe in evolution? If not, have you ever seen an orangutang at the zoo?
evolution is there.. the bible said the world was created in 7 days.. but we put the
stiff rigid time table.. think about all the different societal calendars there are out there. Don't you think God has his own time table? I am more curious on what happened to Jesus' teen years, rebellion??

27. Has this survey insulted you?
Actually it is making me think more than anything.. I need a bit of quirkiness in my
day.

28. Do you prefer skin rashes to animal product testing?
Skin rashes.. they're HAWT.. and it depends do the animals get time to study or is it more of survey on what they know about products?

29. When you play board games with friends, do you often come out of the evening
wondering if you are still friends?
yes, b/c I let everyone else win. I just play dumb, kinda goes with the standardized
tests.

30. Do you use the term oleo for a buttery spread? And if so, do you write crossword
clues for a living?
haha.. I have a recipe that calls for oleo and butter.. so sometimes it confuses me on just how much butter to use and how much shortening to use... but other than that no I prefer the term, plastic substitute.

31. Do you hate or love mimes?
it is kind of a love/hate relationship.. just don't mimic them they don't like it to
much.. street preforms are so territorial

32. Do you think white people should be allowed to play Othello? If so, have you read
the play?
I love Shakespeare!!!! And as for the game.. I prefer the term Go.. b/c Othello killed and I don't want to be washing that blood off my hands.

33. Which hurts more, titty twisting or frozen ear flicking?
wowser, I am going to go with having the Asian mafia cutting off a thumb.

34. Do you make more money than Donald Trump? If so, why are we not better friends?
I am richer than Donald Trump b/c you are my friend :)

35. Do you think Martha Stewart got any action while she was in prison?
haha.. oh Martha.. I am sure she was screamin out someones name.

36. Would somebody applying pressure to pop your eyes out make you tell them something that might end the life of someone you love?
I hate anything that has to do with messing with peoples eyes, but I would def put up
with it to save your life.. oh, I think I just divulged that they are coming after you next.

37. When you're sick and have to throw up and poop at the same time, what do you do?
I have never had this problem, crossing fingers I never will. But I WOULD grab the
nearest garbage can for the upchuck.

38. Have you ever gotten myspace hate mail? If so, did you create your own survey?
everyone loves me, if they don't they aren't my friend. I would say I have sent some
for people who have deleted me for no apparent reason, especially after I went to great lengths to let this person know that they are not to blame for the way my life has turned out, I am actually thankful to him.

39. Do you think Uggs are sexy? If so, what color should I buy? If not, who asked you. I think the name is appropriate.. UGH!!! and I will interject my feelings.. if you buy a pair I will upchuck on them and they will look much better.

40. Describe the worst shower you've ever used.
all showers are wonderful, sorry I can't come up with anything else to say.

41. Do you often smell burnt toast? If so, have you seen a doctor recently?
I have a "smart toaster" it doesn't burn my toast, and besides I don't make toast that often.

42. Do you know what Soylent Green is?
no.

43. In your opinion was Cary Grant a good dancer and singer in "The Philadelphia Story"
or in "North by Northwest"? If so, have you seen either of those movies?
never seen either one, even though North by Northwest was filmed close to where I grew up.

44. Do you think bags of peanut M&M's should have a warning label about the fact that they may have been processed in a plant that also processes almonds?
THEIR NUTS PEOPLE, JUST LIKE YOU.

45. How would you fight a war on terrorism?
sell people what they think is C4 and really it is just silly putty

46. Have you ever confused the name Obama for Osama? If so, have you also confused the names Barack and Bin Laden? If so, do you often confuse first names for last names?
sorry I just have number transposition dyslexia not name dyslexia.. though my brother
would argue b/c of the quote "you can take a horticulture, but you can't make her
think." pls, there is no need to make fun of the word horticulture, besides we all know it is a whore to culture.

47. If you had the opportunity to smear mashed carrots in Bush's face and not get shot by a secret service agent, would you do it?
ugh, you wouldn't find me anywhere near the carrots either

48. If you have a pet, what accent would it have if it spoke to you?
funny you should mention this.. at WRR we decided that Raccoons would be Greek, and
Cacomistles would be Portuguese, my cats.. well Fally would be Turkish, and Ony would be Italian.

49. Is checkers still checkers when it's on a teal and purple board and labeled "My
Princess"?
"My Princess" Queen me!

50. If you got a check in the mail tomorrow, what number would you like to see written on it?
$10,000,000 dollars.. bawhahahahahha